What is Love Bombing and How Does it Impact Relationships?

5 Signs of Love Bombing That Could Save You From Heartbreak

Love bombing is a subtle yet dangerous tactic used to manipulate and control a partner in a romantic relationship. What begins as an overwhelming display of affection, attention, and admiration can quickly evolve into something more sinister. While excitement and affection in a new relationship are natural, love bombing takes these gestures to an extreme, creating an unhealthy power dynamic that can leave emotional scars. The dangers of love bombing lie in how it manipulates trust and emotions, often leading to emotional abuse as the relationship progresses.

Typically associated with individuals who have narcissistic tendencies, love bombing may start with charm and flattery, only to shift into belittling and manipulation once trust is established. At Your Path Counselling, we’re here to teach you how to set boundaries, seek support, and put your emotional well-being first. In this blog, we aim to explain what love bombing is, show you examples, and educate you on why it’s important to protect against the dangers of love bombing.

“Trust your intuition. Love bombing feels as if the relationship is developing uncomfortably fast.”

What is Love Bombing?

Though this term may be new to you, its origins date back to the 1970s when members of the Unification Church of the United States coined the term to recruit cult members. Love bombing was a strategy used to manipulate potential members to make them emotionally and socially dependent on the Unification Church community.

How Can You Tell the Difference Between Love Bombing and Genuine Affection?

Recognizing love bombing can be difficult. You may feel embarrassed by the love bomber’s intensity and downplay their actions to your friends and family for fear of judgement. Remember that a healthy relationship involves trusting the other person and feeling safe, even if you disagree with the other person. Open communication and respecting the other person as an equal are cornerstones in a mutually respectful relationship.

Trust your intuition. Love bombing feels as if the relationship is developing uncomfortably fast. It’s often overwhelming and one-sided, while genuine affection develops gradually through shared experiences.

“…a love bomber tends to shower a person with excessive and often lavish gifts.”

5 Key Indicators Associated With Love Bombing

Love bombing may not be obvious at first. Your friend or partner may tell you everything you want to hear and agree to all your suggestions and opinions, whether they believe them to be true or not. These actions, along with the examples of love bombing described below, may blind you to their true objective – controlling your life.

Attention and Affection That Leaves You Feeling Overwhelmed

Compliments that turn into epic declarations could be a sign of manipulation. Is your new friend or partner – someone you barely know – declaring ‘they love you’ or that ‘you’re the best thing in their life’? Do they often say things that make you feel uncomfortable? Then this person may be love-bombing you.

Relationships That Progress Too Quickly

A love bomber will frequently discuss your future together and may use declarations such as ‘you’re my soul mate’ to lure you in. They want to know everything about you right away and might pry into the private details of your life. On the outside, this might come across as interest but in reality, they are finding your weaknesses and the places you’re vulnerable, to use the information they’ve gathered against you down the road. In return, they’ll offer every traumatic detail of their life to garner sympathy and establish a false closeness.

Compliments and Gifts That Seem to Come From Nowhere

Giving gifts is perfectly healthy in a relationship, but a love bomber tends to shower a person with excessive and often lavish gifts. Be wary of gifts that come with strings attached. Is your partner expecting praise, validation, and compliance in return? If so, you may want to investigate their behaviour further. Offers of financial support, paying your bills or other expenses may also be warning signs. 

Manipulation that plays on Your Emotions

Intense clinginess is also a sign of love bombing. For example, your new best friend wants to spend every moment with you and when they’re not at your side, they barrage you with a constant stream of calls and text messages asking where you are or when you’ll be home. The love bomber wants you to think of them at all times. They want to occupy 100% of your attention and if you question their behaviour they might lash out, disregard you or push the limits of your boundaries.

“Over time, the relationship may become volatile as the love bombers’ true colours start to show through..”

Attempts to Isolate You From Your Friends and Family

A love bomber wants to be your sole meaning for living. Their ultimate goal is to have complete emotional control over you. One of the signs of love bombing is isolation. It may happen so subtly that you don’t notice it at first, but isolating you from your friends and family dissolves your support network, leaving only the love bomber to rely on.

If your gut is telling you something needs to change, but you’re constantly being persuaded otherwise, Your Path Counselling is here to help. We provide a safe space for you to discuss your concerns and provide you with the tools and skills to make the changes you need to heal.

Is Love Bombing Dangerous?

At the beginning of a relationship, love bombing is easy to confuse with falling in love, making the dangers of love bombing difficult to detect. Over time, the relationship may become volatile as the love bombers’ true colours start to show through. By this time, you may be emotionally dependent on the love bomber and blind to the abusive tactics used to erode your self-esteem. 

Your Path Counselling – Here to Teach You How to Set Personal Boundaries

At Your Path Counselling, we believe one of the best approaches to counter love bombing is to teach you how to set personal boundaries and stick to them. Here are just a few of the strategies that we encourage to help you maintain personal boundaries and remove toxic relationships from your life.

• Create space
• Assess your relationship (be honest with yourself)
• Reach out to friends and family
• Seek professional counselling
• Practice self-care
• Join a support group

Healing after love bombing is challenging. We’re here to guide you through the steps of rebuilding your self-esteem helping you recognize and process emotions you may have ignored or denied up to this point. Get started on your healing journey today with one of our compassionate counsellors.